I love dogs. When I was born, my mom had a collie named Gypsy that she had gotten when she first left home to attend university. To this day, my mom talks about how awesome Gypsy was. Gypsy died after a nice, long life when I was still a toddler. When I was about four, my parents got Carmen, our yellow lab. She was...interesting. She didn't learn to bark until she was at least a year old. Putting a leash on her was insane. She would get so excited and wiggle and shake around and you were essentially really proud when you finally got the thing attached and could get her out. She loved the water, and I have fond memories of throwing sticks into the water for her to chase when we still had our cottage.
After my parents divorced, Carmen lived with my dad. When I was in Jr. High, my mom got another dog - Mystic. Mystic was a bearded collie. He was a great dog, but he was crazy. If you don't know beardies, they are incredibly high energy herding dogs. He lived up to this. He was also very neurotic and destroyed walls during thunderstorms and would compulsively lick his paws. In retrospect, a beardie was a poor decision for a family living in Toronto. But he was well loved and lived out his life with my mom in Toronto. He passed away last year at 13.
I went through my undergraduate years dog-less. I moved to Edmonton for grad school and after I moved in with my partner, we decided to get a dog. Enter Cannon, our black lab cross that we got at six months old and is now three and a half. Cannon was not well socialized in her first imprint period, something that became evident when we brought her home and she was afraid of pretty much everything - stairs, doors, people. She remains a skittish dog, but is miles better than when we first got her. She loves anything that she can chase (frisbees, balls, etc.) and being in the water.
When Cannon was two, we decided that we wanted a second dog to keep her company and add even more excitement to our lives. Enter Rocket. We got Rocket at 8 weeks, and he was a male and we think, chocolate lab/pitbull cross. Rocket was a loyal and adoring little guy. He was also rife with issues. Unlike the issues with every dog that I've had before, Rocket was the first dog that confounded me. I tried following the socialization "rules". We thought we had done right by him. We took him to the park. We took him to puppy class. It was actually as puppy class progressed that I began to see that all was not right in Rocket-land. He was starting to go after dogs. He was showing incredible separation anxiety. He was...not doing well. So I sought out another puppy class after the first one, one that focused more on socialization. While class #1 went well, class #2 did not. We were not allowed back in with the other dogs. I started trying to work on his issues outside of class, often working with him on focus outside of the fenced in class area. Things didn't seem to be getting better. I didn't want a dog I couldn't take anywhere. I called a behaviourist. We started having sessions. Sadly, I'm not able to say we succeeded. During Grey Cup 2009, we had the dogs (Cannon and Rocket) over at a friends place, playing in a fenced in yard with their dog. Somehow, they opened the gate and all got out, and in the process, Rocket got hit by a car. To say we were devastated doesn't even begin to describe it. The guilt, and to be honest, the shame, were huge. I still feel like I failed Rocket in so many ways. And I made a promise that I would learn from it - from everything, from leaving them unattended in the yard, to the behavioural issues - and I would honour him by being the best dog owner I could possibly be, giving a great life to my dogs.
When the time came to get another dog, I also wanted to honour Rocket by getting a dog that would remind me of him while simultaneously not being like him (confusing, I know). After researching different breeds, I decided on an American Bulldog, and for Christmas 2009, I got Trigger.
I have tried to do the right things with Trigger. Socialization with people, socialization with dogs, bite inhibition, puppy classes from the age of 3 months on, agility. I have tried to take all the things that have gone wrong before and incorporate them.
I have not been successful...yet.
Trigger is now 10.5 months old. Like I said, he has been in puppy classes since 3 months. Puppy 1, Puppy 2, all went well. He is an incredibly smart dog, and picked commands up very easily. Sit, down, sit-stays, down-stays...he knows them all, and we've worked them with increasing distraction, distance, etc. Started Foundations 1 (beginner agility) and that went great too. Loved the tunnels, the jumps, he would just run those courses with enthusiasm.
Then came Foundations 2. Suddenly my happy-go-lucky dog was no more. Another dog growled at him. Trigger jumped him. As I describe it - someone throws a punch, Trigger throws a grenade. This happened at agility. Then it happened at the park. A bouvier puppy was getting attention from a little kid and knocked her over, so Trigger jumped the other dog. Then it happened at agility again. Trigger was running a tunnel/hurdle course while another dog worked on the dog walk on the other side of the agility field. Trigger broke from his course. I called him. He looked at me, thought about it, and then ran off, and jumped on a golden retriever who had done absolutely nothing.
I was concerned, but for lack of a better word, all of the incidents had seemed to have a "trigger". Being growled at, knocking over a child, really messed up weather. Then came the final incident at doggy daycare. While all the incidents sucked, the suck factor got turned up on this one because I watched it unfold and was powerless to even pull him off and had to rely on others to deal with it. Again, a dog growled at Trigger and he jumped on it. As this occurred, multiple dogs at the daycare started to converge on them. The daycare workers went to pull them apart. That dog and Trigger disengaged, but another dog got involved. Trigger locked on to that one and wouldn't let go (as a snub-nosed dog, he has a pretty strong jaw). They finally got him off, and fortunately no harm was done to any of the daycare dogs. Trigger came away with all the damage (puncture in his ear, bite mark under his jaw, and on his ear).
Once again, I felt unable to handle the situation. I'm not going to lie, I bawled. I have tried to do everything right with this dog, and yet still I was failing. I phoned the behaviourist again. We talked. He calmed me down. He said he would work with me.
Last time, I thought it would be easy. I've seen the Dog Whisperer. Through the magic of television, it seems like Cesar Milan can fix a dog in fifteen minutes. That first time around, I really thought that it was going to be a matter of a couple little tricks, and magically, Rocket would be better. Having learned from Rocket, and having made a promise to both myself and his memory, this time I'm not looking for magic. I'm expecting hard work.
Someday, I want to have kids. But I look at all these dogs and their various issues, and I wonder how - if I can't even get a dog "right", how I'll ever be able to do a kid. Then I also think about how nice it would be if the dog could just talk to me - if we could talk it out. Maybe I can do kids. Who knows right now. What I do know, is that I won't accept failing with Trigger. I am starting to see where I have been failing. And instead of beating myself up over it, I'm trying to fix it. I'm trying to put in the work because I know that the end result will be worth it.
Writing this is incredibly difficult. I don't want to have to admit that I have screwed up - particularly when I tried so hard not to. But I want to record this process. The successes, the oddities, the breakthroughs, and sadly, the failures. I want to see where we start and where we go.
I met with our behaviourist a week ago. And from there, Training Trigger begins in earnest.
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